I had to think for a long time today about how to write this blog post, and I hope I am never again faced with a situation that makes me feel like this again. There are a lot of gritty details that I leave out of some posts, but in the end I have included all of the high highs and lowest lows that have come our way so today will be no different.
The boys have a dedicated fan club that reads their story every day, but in the end this whole blog is really for the boys. It does no good to them to omit events so the day is detailed below. At the end of the day, we are all OK and that is what really matters.
Brendan had a fabulous morning, probably the best he has had in a long time. He had Ativan last night at 9:30PM and then made it through the rest of the night and well in to the morning without any more doses of Ativan or Morphine. The difference was that they started him on a low dose of Methadone via IV in preparation to wean him from the Morphine and keep him at a steady level of comfort. He got the Methadone two times a day starting yesterday at noon and then last night at midnight.
He sat up and played and talked and rested all morning with me until about 11:15am when I left the hospital to come home and get Trevor. I was going to stay home so Bill could go visit his dad in the other hospital. We had some lunch together and he was getting ready to head out when my phone rang. The attending physician was calling me personally. He asked me how far away I was and how quickly could I be at the hospital again, that he would wait for me in Brendan’s room. He said that Brendan had an event and that he was stabilized but I had better come anyway. As I drove the 20 miles back to the hospital, my mind raced with what could possibly be going on.
When I arrived, they disclosed that there had been an error and that Brendan had suffered an overdose during his noon dose of the Methadone. He had stopped breathing and required CPR (both chest compressions and bag breaths) for two minutes to resuscitate him. They figured out what had happened immediately and brought him back with a drug called Narcan which cancels the effects of opioid drugs like morphine, codeine, methadone, or heroin. Because the methadone is long lasting and the Narcan is only effective for about 30 minutes, he was put on a steady Narcan drip. The doctors could easily have intubated Brendan to be on the safe side to keep him breathing until he could fully get the drugs out of his system. But intubation could cause a major setback in getting to surgery, so they decided to see if he could fight through without the ventilator. He was on edge for a few hours, but so far has done well and nothing will change with surgery so far. Time will tell.
So what happened exactly? The Methadone comes in a solution with a concentration of 5mg per 0.5ml. That is 5 milligrams of active drugs dissolved in one half of a milliliter of a saline solution. The doctors orders were to give Brendan 0.5mg of the drug twice a day. One half of one milligram. This pretty much is a teardrop of the solution, it ends up being 0.05ml. The nurse confused this order and gave Brendan 0.5ml of the solution which means she gave him 5mg of the drugs – TEN TIMES the dose for his tiny little body. The very distraught nurse was sent home, investigation in to the error is already underway. Obviously there was a lack of failsafe to prevent this kind of mistake and it needs correcting immediately. Every person on the staff was apologizing, and promising to work on preventing the error. I also felt like there was full disclosure and admission of error, which I believe was very important.
He has a nurse at his bedside 100% of the time for the 12 hrs following the OD. I stayed at the hospital until about 8PM and then came home and switched with Bill, who is there now to spend the night with him. I will go back in the morning.
If this post makes you livid, worried, stressed, incredulous, or overwhelmed, I promise that I am feeling it 100 times worse. Please refrain from suggesting that we get new doctors, a new hospital, get a lawyer, get the TV media, etc etc. I can guarantee that we are doing everything in our power to take care of Brendan in every possible way.
If you feel like you want to do something to help us, then just leave a comment. Let future Brendan know how much he was loved and how grateful we all are that he made it through all of this. We will be dealing with the official repercussions of this in meetings tomorrow. Your little words of support go a long way to give us the strength to cope with these events.
The world is not ready to be without this bundle of sunshine
I have been reading your diary regularly and feel that I know the boys very well! Your commitment to keeping up this blog is a marvelous achievement, especially under such unimaginable stress that you are both suffering. What happened yesterday was unbelievable. I send my love and best wishes to you all.
You are doing the best thing you can do in moving forward. Tiffanie, we all love the blog and keeping up with the boys and life is full of ups and downs and hopefully Brendan is now done with the downs and on his way up. I know the blog is for the boys but until they can read there are a lot of caring people who want to share in your journey, offer good thoughts and many prayers. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met and your family is very fortunate to have you. V
Brendan, we are going to start calling you our little tank! You just seem to roll right over the obstacles that come your way and come out the other end. It is amazing that so much strength can be contained in so tiny of a person. I can’t imagine what you will accomplish with the sheer determination you have! Trevor, you are already shaping up to the the caretaker. You have such a laid back personality, and seem to understand that being a pretty easy baby is just what Mommy and Daddy need right now. Whether it’s knowing that you are happy hanging out at home while everyone helps Brendan, or being ready and willing for the snuggles and hugs when they get home, you are helping bring peace of mind to your family. We love both of you boys, and will continue to pour every ounce of our energy your way!
Hello Brendan. we’ve been reading your and Trevor’s story since the very beginning….we’re part of your fan club <3 Our family has twins too, but they're girls, and, like you, they've had to have surgery's and have gotten to know lots of different doctors. Twins are special though, they're very, very strong. They're strong enough for themselves, and have enough left over to share with a whole other person! That's why they can handle more than most people…we like to think of it like a super power, or if you're a Star Wars fan…the force 😀 When you read this, always know that Mom and Dad shared all of their strength with you as well, so be extra nice during those teen aged years 😉 ((hugs))
He’s such a tough little guy! So happy to hear that he came through it. We’re all praying and pulling for you down at the other end of the street Brendan! Come home soon. :O)
Tiffanie, since we spoke at length last night about our little angel, Brendan, there has been nothing on my mind or in my heart but you, Bill and those babies. I am so glad I will be there on Monday. I am so very very sorry that, after everything Brendan has been through, he had to have this other horrible experience. He is truly the strongest little guy, with a determination to get well, and be home with you and his Daddy and brother.
You have been amazing through all of this, and with all of the time I have been there with you, I have watched you care for (both at home and in the hospital) both of your babies, and I am so proud of you and your determination and strength. If love can see Brendan through, he is going to be fine. If love can see you through, you will also be fine. You have the love and support of so many many people. And if the power of prayer is helping, we are all praying very hard for all of you.
Sorry, my comment accidentally was sent. I was not done.
You are so very right, the world has not yet experienced the force of little Brendan and what he will contribute. He is destined for great things, and the greatest thing of all to his Gramma is having him to love.
Take good care of yourselves. Lots of love to you and Bill, and both of those little boys. I will see you all Monday. Call me day or night if I can help in any way until then.
MOM
(Gramma)
Brendan’s such a tough little fella. Brett and I think of all of you every day and pray for your ongoing strength and his. It will be so good for him to get the Glenn procedure to keep him moving along his path to recovery.
I have to admit I am pretty angry now that I understand what happened. Nice person or not, what this nurse did is completely unacceptable! Who in their right mind would think 5mg is a correct dose for such a little guy! What was she thinking? Don’t they have checks and balances on such critical doses? Was she even using her brain?
Thank the Lord Brendan has such a strong healing circle around him and within him to keep him with us. Hang in there. We all love you guys so much!
My heart goes out to you Tiffanie, Bill, Trevor, and especially to you Brendan. Reading your post this morning sure brought tears to my eyes, not only for the terrible error done to Brendan but tears of Joy that once again, Brendan showed us what a very special little fighter he is. Right now Mr. Brendan you are the only super hero I know in this great big world. If I ever need that kind of help I now know that you and your side kick Trevor are here to help. Tiffanie and Bill, you are amazing and I am so very proud of you on how you have taken your role as parents. The strength and love you have for your boys is what lets them know that they can do anything that comes their way. Hugs and lots of prayers will continue to be sent your way from the Ibarra family. Love ya!!!!
Tiffanie and Bill, you have weathered so many things that are beyond your control without losing your optimism, your humor, or your ability to be sympathetic and supportive to others. Lil’ B and T-Dogg (blame that one on Uncle Jon), we love you from afar but no less for it. Storing up all our positive karma and sending it express post to AZ for all four of you!
Brendan,
Gramma called me this morning, before I had a chance to read the blog, so I knew most of the details before reading what was posted.
To err, is human…….To survive that human moment is a blessing that I have already given a prayer of thanks for, a blessing for you, your brother, your Mom and Dad, and, for all those who follow this blog. Brendan, you are not alone.
Your eyes, in the picture above, as you look up at your lion friend, speak clearly of your strength, and character, and I feel that, somehow, that you know we are all there for you.
Tiffanie, I have no idea which branch of the family tree carried the fruit of strength, love, perseverance, and caring, but you seem to have inherited it in full measure……….”someone” knew you would need the blessing of having it.
Bill, 19 weeks, 3 days, and you have “been there”, with love and support for Tiffanie, and your sons, I could not even begin to ask for any greater thing , or any greater blessing than that.
Trevor, the day will come when you will be able to read all of this, and know how many people cared so strongly about you and Brendan.
By simply being who you are, you have contributed support for your brother, and your parents. You too, are special, and I am as proud of you as any grandfather can be.
My love, my hope, my prayers, are with you,
Dad