I should have known I was in trouble when the day started at 4:45am. I was so drained that all I could think about was getting through until Trevor’s first nap. He must have sensed that though because he refused to nap and he was super high maintenance.
I put a lot of pressure on myself the two days of the week that we have a nurse for Brendan in the daytime. While Trevor naps and Brendan is cared for and Bill is in the office, I have the opportunity to get something done. Whether it be a chore or a fun project, I look forward to accomplishing something all week. As the day ticks away and the time runs short and Trevor does not cooperate, I just feel my anxiety building. On days like today, I just have to give up and hope that it goes better next time.
Brendan had a rough night with little good sleep, lots of coughing, and thick trach secretions. We always have to have troubles right before weekends and holidays when doctors are hard to reach or resources are limited. In order to prevent getting stuck this Thursday with a problem, we called the pulmonologist to ask what she thought about his situation. She decided to put him on a 5 day burst dose of a steroid to help his immune system kick in and take away some of the inflammation from coughing.
I don’t know what to think about Trevor. On top of being sick and teething, he is testing his boundaries and has this great new scream cry that he does when he doesn’t want to do something. This afternoon for a nap and this evening at bedtime, I finally gave up trying to cuddle and sing him to sleep and I had to leave him in his crib crying. I hate it. But he does eventually give up and lie down, it just leaves me feeling unsure that I am doing the right thing and sad that I know he really is not feeling well and this feels like punishment.
By the time I thought about the camera, Brendan was already in bed.
Trevor has had mixed experiences at mealtime. He is so hungry but then sometimes he hurts and can’t eat. Tonight he got spaghetti and meatballs and scarfed it all right up!
Of course he picked out all the meat first
One of Trevor’s latest behavioral things is cabinets. He loves to open cabinets. He screams if you hold them closed or take him away from them.
We got the official message that Gramma is coming back for a two week visit starting November 29! Trevor can’t wait to let her hear the new scream! Brendan is just full of silly and adorable right now. We hope she is ready!
Wow, it sounds like you had a really hard day. I’m sorry to hear that now Brendan is not feeling well with coughing a lot. I’m hoping that I will be able to help you to get some much needed and overdue rest.
Aunt Shannon and Uncle Jon arrived safely tonight in spite of the fog around Lake Michigan. It is supposed to impact travelers leaving early in the morning for their Thanksgiving travels, with many flights being canceled as well. I’m so glad they drove here today, and not tomorrow.
I hope tonight is a good night, and tomorrow is a better day. I also hope Brendan’s issues are nothing serious.
Sending lots of love,
Gramma
Good Morning from the messy but recovering East Coast!! Key word is “recovering”!! Hope the same is happening for you and the boys!! Brendan, heal quickly…Gramma’s coming soon!!! Trevor, so you now have discovered tribal screams…how awesome. Perhaps now you can show Mom and Dad how to “whisper”. Tiffanie, it is difficult for others to appreciate just how complex a day in your life is, then to put feeling crappy with sick babies…unimaginable…but we are trying. The biggest, squeeziest hugs are packed in this blog. We want to wish you and all the family a healthy, loving, Thanksgiving Day!!!! Hang in there…albeit tough, and soon your relief will be arriving from Illinois!!! Still praying….. big, little, and inbetween hugs,,,packed with love!!! 🙂
Oh Tiffanie, I am so sorry you are having such a horrendous day, praying that today and from now on it will get better. Will this be the first Thanksgiving the boys are home? Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and give the boys lots of hugs from this house.
Parenting is a hard job all around, and yours is even tougher with caring for Brendan’s special needs, corodinating nurses and medical stuff, and caring for Trevor. We have all the love and respect and admiration in the world for the fact that you are even still standing most days! You want so much to give each boy 100% of your time, attention, and love. It is OK to expect the boys to share you. It is OK to let Trevor cry it out when he needs a nap and you need a few minutes peace. It is OK to take a few minutes for yourself when you can carve them out of the day to do a fun project. It is OK to not do more than the bare minimum around the house. In the end, no one will think less of you because you have not dusted in weeks or the dishes pile up! Think of what strong, compassionate boys you will have – they will have learned that Mommy and Daddy are people too. They will have learned that sometimes their own needs are not the top priority. The absolute hardest part of parenting (and it comes back in a big way as they get to be teens….) is saying “no” because it is so much easier in that moment to just say “yes”. It is because you love them so much that you have to set those boundaries. I hope you are able to get a little extra sleep, and that Brendan can dodge this persistent little bug in your house. I hope Trevor can finally cut those teeth and get back to be his normal naughty self. Gramma will arrive in a week, ready to smother and pitch in!