I should have known I was in trouble when the day started at 4:45am. I was so drained that all I could think about was getting through until Trevor’s first nap. He must have sensed that though because he refused to nap and he was super high maintenance.
I put a lot of pressure on myself the two days of the week that we have a nurse for Brendan in the daytime. While Trevor naps and Brendan is cared for and Bill is in the office, I have the opportunity to get something done. Whether it be a chore or a fun project, I look forward to accomplishing something all week. As the day ticks away and the time runs short and Trevor does not cooperate, I just feel my anxiety building. On days like today, I just have to give up and hope that it goes better next time.

Brendan had a rough night with little good sleep, lots of coughing, and thick trach secretions. We always have to have troubles right before weekends and holidays when doctors are hard to reach or resources are limited. In order to prevent getting stuck this Thursday with a problem, we called the pulmonologist to ask what she thought about his situation. She decided to put him on a 5 day burst dose of a steroid to help his immune system kick in and take away some of the inflammation from coughing.

I don’t know what to think about Trevor. On top of being sick and teething, he is testing his boundaries and has this great new scream cry that he does when he doesn’t want to do something. This afternoon for a nap and this evening at bedtime, I finally gave up trying to cuddle and sing him to sleep and I had to leave him in his crib crying. I hate it. But he does eventually give up and lie down, it just leaves me feeling unsure that I am doing the right thing and sad that I know he really is not feeling well and this feels like punishment.

By the time I thought about the camera, Brendan was already in bed.

Trevor has had mixed experiences at mealtime. He is so hungry but then sometimes he hurts and can’t eat. Tonight he got spaghetti and meatballs and scarfed it all right up!

Of course he picked out all the meat first

One of Trevor’s latest behavioral things is cabinets. He loves to open cabinets. He screams if you hold them closed or take him away from them.

We got the official message that Gramma is coming back for a two week visit starting November 29! Trevor can’t wait to let her hear the new scream! Brendan is just full of silly and adorable right now. We hope she is ready!